A discussion over at Feminist Mormon Housewives discusses being introverted in an extroverted church. I hadn’t really thought of the church as being extroverted, or rather working better for extroverted individuals, but it seems a good classification. All of the activities, the visits, the 3 hour meetings, etc. all seem like things geared towards the extroverts. In the standard personality profile, I think I generally fell out as an extrovert, but I am probably right around the middle of the spectrum. Big group gatherings don’t really do it for me, and I am certainly not a social butterfly. I do enjoy getting together with friends, and if I know the people, I can handle any size group.
In my cul-de-sac of apartment dwellers, though, I have no close friends, though I do have a couple of casual friends. I would really like to live rather near a close friend sometime, but I guess I accept that close friends are not so easy to come by and can’t really be forced. And I’m not bothered by not being “in” the loop of the neighborhood moms, mostly because I can’t imagine anything less enjoyable than hanging out frequently with a group of people I’m not very interested in talking to. I can do the once a week or less informal outside chat while the kids are playing, but I’m fine that we don’t spend hours at each others homes. But I do think that could change if I felt close to any of them.
I just don’t know how much of my hermit-like attitudes are actually me, or if they are a result of being in a place that I don’t feel suits my personality/interests. The first 2+ years of living here I was getting my MS in zoology, which really set me apart from the standard SAHMs around here. One friend had gotten her BS in botany, and she was interested in higher education as was her husband, and David and I really clicked with them. Unfortunately they moved in July of 2004, and haven’t been replaced by a family that we feel similarly connected to.
I do have a number of friends spread around the country, and I enjoy corresponding with them. But it isn’t quite the same as whiling away the afternoons together while the kids eat dirt in the yard. Maybe someday.
In my cul-de-sac of apartment dwellers, though, I have no close friends, though I do have a couple of casual friends. I would really like to live rather near a close friend sometime, but I guess I accept that close friends are not so easy to come by and can’t really be forced. And I’m not bothered by not being “in” the loop of the neighborhood moms, mostly because I can’t imagine anything less enjoyable than hanging out frequently with a group of people I’m not very interested in talking to. I can do the once a week or less informal outside chat while the kids are playing, but I’m fine that we don’t spend hours at each others homes. But I do think that could change if I felt close to any of them.
I just don’t know how much of my hermit-like attitudes are actually me, or if they are a result of being in a place that I don’t feel suits my personality/interests. The first 2+ years of living here I was getting my MS in zoology, which really set me apart from the standard SAHMs around here. One friend had gotten her BS in botany, and she was interested in higher education as was her husband, and David and I really clicked with them. Unfortunately they moved in July of 2004, and haven’t been replaced by a family that we feel similarly connected to.
I do have a number of friends spread around the country, and I enjoy corresponding with them. But it isn’t quite the same as whiling away the afternoons together while the kids eat dirt in the yard. Maybe someday.
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