Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Live in the Now, Man

I married a very intelligent man who also happens to be quite level-headed and good with seeing what is really important. I’m grateful for these gifts of his, but that doesn’t mean I sometimes don’t wish he were a little more irrational. I’ll explain.

I have been a stay-at-home mom since my son was born almost 14 months ago. Prior to that, David and I both alternated staying at home with our daughter while the other one went to school. This way, we were both able to complete our MS degrees in Zoology in less than 2 1/2 years. Leaving Noodle was hard many days, and I often wished I could stay home and enjoy the day with the two of them. The days when I was home, I was pretty good at balancing trying to get a little schoolwork done and just enjoying being the “mom”. And I enjoyed my days at school, too. I think part of what made the whole situation work was that you knew tomorrow you’d be doing “the other thing,” so it felt like you only had to get through today. It was nice to have the feeling of “missing home”.

Now, however, I am in full time SAHM mode, meaning I am home EVERY day, ALL day with the kids. I don’t get a chance to miss them, because I am always with them. Getting through each day seems a bit more difficult because I know that tomorrow is going to be just like today, which was just like yesterday, and so on ad infinitum. It can be a challenge to keep up my spirits.

As we are still living in our 2 bedroom apartment, and have been thinking that moving out was just around the corner for the past year or more, I have had a hard time enjoying being here, and too frequently find myself wishing away the time until we are able to move into a house. A couple of nights ago David and I were “pillow talking” and he said, essentially, that it’s important to enjoy life NOW, because it is the only life we have. And we can wish that things had taken a different turn, but they haven’t, so it’s just a waste of time and energy. He pointed out that if our lives had gone the way we’d originally hoped (meaning he’d gone to Washington University in St. Louis) we’d be even poorer than we are now, and we’d be at least half a dozen years away from buying a house. AND he’d be gone even more than he is presently with his job. I’ll confess that I was annoyed to have him point all these things, but even with my annoyance I knew he was right. (That’s probably why I was annoyed.) So, I’m happy to report that for the past couple of days I’ve done a much better job at enjoying NOW. And I did pretty good last week. I think Life really is about the details, and the small things. The big things happen too infrequently, so if we wait for those, we’ll miss out on a lot of joy.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Chop chop

So I got my hair cut on Thursday. A LOT! I cut off 10" to donate to locks of love. Then a couple of more inches were "sacrificed" in the name of style. It (the haircut) didn't turn out like I was hoping, but I'm liking it okay now. In a few months it will probably be the length I wanted it to be. I must say that I am quite happy that I no longer have to spend 30 minutes combing my hair everyday. I can comb, blow dry, and style in less time. It's a little weird not to have all that hair, since I've had long hair for the past several years. But it's good.

On another note, I think my blog is in need of some more inspired postings. I think January's illnesses in the house sucked me dry of creative thought, but it's time I get my act together again. Even though I suspect I've already lost my one or two occasional readers.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


St Matthew 18:23-35
“Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made...”

This is kind of a long passage to type out, but it is certainly powerful. After the servant is forgiven, he comes upon a servant of his own who owed him a hundred pence, and demands it of him. When he can’t pay, he has him thrown into jail. The lord hears of it and says

“O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?”

Wow. It’s such a powerful lesson.

Monday, February 13, 2006

St Matthew 16:25 “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”

I wonder how this applies to me, in my current situation as a mom. I did well this morning about getting up and immediately getting some household chores done, before getting online. I think that “losing my life for his sake” would involve doing more for my family and especially my children. We are constantly bombarded in the mom world by the idea that we need to “take time for ourselves” and I wonder if this is true. I wonder if the actual truth isn’t to more fully involve ourselves with motherhood and our children, and then we will find ourselves much more richly than before. If we are overly concerned with “taking time for ourselves” I think it is easy to become resentful of the demands of kids, but I certainly am no expert on either front.

Something to think about.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Blind lead the blind

In an effort to get myself going on one of my resolutions, I am going to try and pick a verse from my scripture reading and share it, sometimes with thoughts, sometimes just alone. I’m hoping this will make me more accountable for actually reading. Happily I’m reading the New Testament, which is full of great verses.


St Matthew 15:14 “Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.”

I don’t have any deep insight about this verse, though it does seem an appropriate summation of much of the world today. I think we have a lot of ditches full of blind people...

Monday, February 06, 2006

I'm going to make an enemy...

on a mothering list that I belong to.

Lady1 posted:
Hello all I am in need of some help. I have four
female and one male AKC
Yellow lab pups that need to find new homes. The
females are $350 and the
males $300. IF you know of anyone who may be
interested, please forward
this to them or give them my number. Thank you all
very much!! My number

Lady2 replied:
we are looking for a puppy and a lab is high on the
list. can you send photos and any details about

And I replied:

As a big advocate for and believer in animal rescue and responsible breeding, I just want to point out that responsible breeders have homes for the litter BEFORE animals are mated. Also, responsible breeders health and temperament test all animals before breeding. Millions of animals are killed every year in animal shelters. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

"Don't breed or buy while shelter animals die."


P.S. Lady2, there is a lab rescue group in Utah County,, that helps place abandoned dogs and puppies that desperately need homes. They very often have puppies, even purebreds. You might consider looking into them.
I don’t think Lady1 will like me much anymore. But it can’t be less than I like her. If you are going to breed animals, you damn well better do it in the MOST responsible way. Not just because you shelled out $$ for a purebred and want to “recoup your losses.”

Thursday, February 02, 2006