Wednesday, December 25, 2013


This Christmas reminds me of reasons I love my kids (well, a few of the reasons). Due to mucho $$$ spent on van repairs this year, there wasn't a huge budget for Christmas. I'd told the kids that things were going to be tight, and they were okay with it. I was able to get some books and logic/math games using some of our curriculum allowance from MyTechHigh and found some things they really like (Angry Birds plush) on a really good deal, and they each got a Mario Bros character they'd wanted and a mom-made monster (a Christmas tradition now). The three older also exchanged gifts (we didn't include the little ones in the sibling gift exchange) and that was pretty much the total of what they got. And they are so delighted with their treasures! It's really sweet. One thing that I'm glad we have done is not encourage our kids to make wish lists. They might think of a few possibilities to tell their Nana & Pop Pop, but they almost never ask for things over $20. I am glad that they are so happy with gifts that aren't extravagant. And I am glad that Noodle hasn't yet lost her delight in toys. A couple of her friends have, and all I can think is that I'm kind of sad for them. They have a long life ahead of being interested in makeup and clothes. Hang on to the fun of childhood a little longer if you can. 

Monday, November 25, 2013

One Year Pics

A little late getting these up, but better late than never they say.  There are also some Halloween and miscellaneous Fall 2013 pics included as well. 

gratitude attitude

Thanksgiving is only a couple days away, and I just haven't been "feeling it" this year.  Which of course makes me feel kind of guilty.  It isn't like I don't have plenty to be thankful for.  But I have mostly been feeling kind of sorry for myself (I know, lame).  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas and shopping and finding great deals and perfect gifts and also sewing something fun (the past few years it has been monsters or, one year, a doll) for each of my kids.  At the end of October we had to take a hard look at our finances and realized that, largely due to the $$$$ that it cost to get the Vanagon all up and running again, and ALSO due to some old bad business debt that came back to haunt us and is requiring monthly payments, we needed to do some serious belt-tightening.  So just when I was about to get into the holiday spirit, I needed to get into the penny-watching spirit.  And watching the money go to needed new tires for the van and then a replacement tire for a blow out on the Scion was so depressing.  And both of the older kids and myself are in need of new eye prescriptions that'll have to wait.   Gratefully, I was able to do a couple of photography sessions this month that helped out a little with a couple of the costs. While I know that holiday spirit is more than spending money and all that, it's still a stressful time to be watching every dollar.  And we still haven't been able to fix our upstairs shower that has been nonoperational since last September.  Sigh...

BUT, I am grateful for my family.  I'm grateful for David and his hard work to provide us with what we need.  I'm grateful for each of my kids and the craziness that has to be somehow making me a stronger and better person.  I'm grateful for good friends who make life more pleasant, and for friends who lend an ear and/or a helping hand.  I'm grateful for the things I've realized the past year about Christ and his love for us, and the supreme importance of learning to love others.  I'm grateful that the twins are older and that I'm not nearly as exhausted and sleep-deprived as a I was a year ago at this time.  I'm thankful for all the beauty of nature, and particularly the mountains that I can see out our windows and as I drive around the valley.  And even though it cost us a lot of money this year, I'm grateful for my VW Vanagon and the fact that it is so comfortable to ride in and still costs so much less than a newer van would.

So, when it comes down to it, I know that life is pretty good, and I have a lot to be thankful for. :-)

Friday, October 18, 2013


One of the biggest challenges over the past year had been loneliness. I have mostly relied on facebook to give me some daily adult interaction, but that definitely has drawbacks. I have some awesome friends, but only have time to get together about once a month. After David comes home in the evening, it is busy busy busy until the twins are both in bed, and within an hour we need to turn in to ha e a chance of being functional the next day. With the morning and afternoon naps, it's hard to plan times to get out to see anyone, and with homeschooling, it's not like we can have people over really. So all the factors combine to leave me feeling really alone and isolated. I am not one to call people on the phone just to chat much (I always worry about interrupting their lives),and even if I did, my life now is not conducive to phone calls. I wish I had a friend who I could see regularly, even if just for 20 minutes a few times a week, who was "up" enough on my life (and vice versa) that it could be an ongoing conversation. I wish I had the time and energy to cultivate such a relationship. I wish I didn't feel like I was running in circles all day long trying to meet all the needs and demands of my family. I wish that for a period longer than 6-8 months we'd have a predictable, reliable income so I could actually feel somewhat stable and secure. I wish that I was a naturally more organized person, so maybe I would know how to tame the chaos a little more. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013


Mooberry and Gub Gub turned ONE this past Wednesday!  We celebrated then, and are celebrating some more with David's family tomorrow.  So then I'll go through the way too many pictures and get some online to share.  :o)

I'm so glad we made it to this very BIG milestone!  And I was able to nurse the twins the whole year! And I didn't go completely insane!  And David and I are still married! (I know a LOT of twin parents who are really does a number on your marriage.)  I actually think our marriage is stronger, even though things like date night and sleeping in the same room have been put on such a far back burner I think they may have fallen off the stove.  But we have tried to go out on dates when we can, and usually take the twins along.


The post below (C is for Clive) is a photo book I made for his 9th birthday coming up in December.  He has admired one I made for Noodle when she turned 6 and has mentioned several times that he would like one of his own.  I am making a dedicated effort to improve our relationship (we have pretty different approaches to life) and it was really sweet to look through my photos and remember so many happy and fun times with him. 

C is for Clive

Click here to view this photo book larger

Click here to create your own Shutterfly photo book.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

the daily grind

I think anyone who has cared for an infant can attest to the overwhelming monotony of it.  Sleep, wake, feed, change, play, repeat.  Over and over.  Again and again.  Day in and day out. In talking with other moms of twins, the sheer effort of getting through the very basics of the days (listed above) takes so much time and energy because of the x2 factor, that getting anything else done seems like it will necessitate a Herculean effort.  And if you are running on a perpetual sleep deprivation cycle, there just ain't no energy for that! 

Back in June I was asked to take a meal to a family in the ward.  In theory, I was happy to help and to be able to contribute a bit, as so many had been so helpful to me during the uber stressful first 2-3 months after the twins were born.  I can imagine that the compassionate service committee thought that now that the twins are 8 months old, surely I have things together and could make this contribution. I was able to rise to the occasion and planned ahead and made a pretty decent meal (some for ourselves as well) but it was a major deal and source of stress.  And that, plus the reaction I got when I inquired if there might be someone who could come sit with the twins during nap time once or twice a week so I could take my older kids on a bike ride, made me realize that perhaps people thought I should be "over" the life changing chaos that having twins created for me.  I've been visiting teaching exactly once in the 11 months since they arrive.  I am lucky to get out of the house once a week for 2 hours without a baby (and that has only been possible in the last 3 months since Mooberry started taking a bottle).  Even now, they were playing happily on my office floor, but now Mooberry is poopy and screaming at me, so I have to cut this short.

My point is, though, it's hard.  It's still hard.  Some things are easier, some things are harder.  But I'm not "over it," and I don't have everything figured out. 

Sunday, June 09, 2013

LIfe as I know it

I sit at my computer very rarely, though I spend quite a bit of time online.  It's almost always from my phone or iPad.  And I've tried "mobile blogging" and found it to be less than awesome, so I haven't done it much. 

I've actually started a couple of complainy, whining posts, but didn't ever finish them.  It's probably just as well. 

BUT I miss blogging.  So I'm going to try and get back into the swing of things. 

The trickiest thing right now is the fact that the weather is nice and it's summer so we want to go out and DO things, but we have two babies who take naps.  Now, something that most moms of twins will say saved them was keeping their twins on the same schedule.  This has not be successful for me.  I'm guessing there are two main reasons for this. 

1.  I'm not a very good scheduler, and my life is pretty flexible most of the time.  So we don't always get up at the same time or have to go somewhere at the same time everyday (yay for homeschooling!). 

2.  M & M have quite different sleep "personalities," for lack of a better term.  Mali is a long napper (usually 2-3 hours, 2x/day).  Max is a shorter napper, ranging from 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours, occasionally a 2 hour nap. And he often takes 3 naps/day, Mali takes 2.  Even when I put them down within 20 minutes of each other for a nap, Max will wake up much sooner, and it just seems dumb to wake Mali up so early when she will sleep so much longer.  So then we are "off" for the rest of the day, and there really doesn't seem a way around it.  Max also typically goes to bed earlier at night, and likes to wake up earlier, too.  SO, I've just decided to go with it.  Which is really fine, except it makes it pretty difficult to actually leave the house, because if they DO happen to be awake at the same time, one of them is likely to be needing a nap within the next hour. 

They turn 9 months old on Tuesday and are at such a fun age.  They can sit up great and are somewhat mobile, Max more than Mali.  He is almost crawling.  He does a combination bum scootch and crawl.  He really just needs to get the other leg out behind him and he'll be set.  Mali does a bit of rolling and bum scootching to get around, but isn't quite as good as Max yet. 

In other news, Noodle turned 11 earlier this month!  It boggles my mind that she is one year away from turning 12, so I try not to think about that too much.  She is such a delightful girl to have around and such a huge help with the babies.  I'm so very grateful to have her around.  We do run into issues with her trying to "parent" Spud, but I think it is mostly because she tries to be so diligent about getting her own responsibilities done that it stresses her to see him not doing them.  Which is often the case. 

Spud turned 8 back in December and has been enjoying cub scouts.  He almost got third at the Pinewood Derby this past week--his average time was 1/100 second slower than the third place car.  For his 8th birthday he got a cat, whom he named Bandit.  I'll try and do a picture post here in the next week and show some pictures.  He's a handsome and very soft gray and white cat who loves to snuggle.  It has been a good fit for Spud.  Our two resident cats, Minnie & Noni, aren't sure why we wanted to add a young pest to the bunch, but we think they secretly like having someone around to mix things up a bit.  Bandit loves to pounce on them and wrestle.  A fun fact about Bandit is that he was born just a few days after M & M, so they are the same age.  (Cats grow up much quicker than humans.)

Sprout has been going to preschool this year.  His first teacher lived across the street which was awesome, but they had to move suddenly in December so we enrolled him in a preschool a few blocks away.  It has been good for him, as we don't get out very much.  When Noodle and Spud were little we did weekly play groups with our homeschool friends, so they had that time for interaction and fun with friends.  I miss having the opportunity to that, but it gets harder as the kids get older and need more time for formal schooling. 

Well, I'm not going to pretend this is super interesting for most people, but it's a start back on the path to more frequent updates, so hopefully that counts for something! 

Here are some 8 month pics I took of the babies on my birthday last month.  

This is what we call his "rawr face".  

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

6 months!

We made it six months!! 

Some things have gotten easier.  Some things I've adapted to.  Some things I'm just resigned to, for now.  (Poor sleep being the main one in the latter category.)  The warm weather we've had has helped tremendously, though!  We've been able to go on walks (the babies do great in the stroller) and I've also been able to lay them on a blanket outside or put them in the exersaucer on the lawn.  It is nice to not have to be inside all the time.  And I'm excited for warmer weather so they don't have to wear such warm clothes and we can more easily admire and smooch all their cute little babyness! 

I have a kind of whiney, "this is my reality" post that I started a week or so ago, but haven't been able to finish. Some days are still pretty rough, but they aren't as common now.  Maybe one or two ROUGH days every couple of weeks now.  And even on those days, M&M are so cute and fun, we just can't help but love them!  And usually they aren't the hardest's one of the other three hoodlums we have living here.  ;-)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Blessing Day

The picture on the other post was from my phone.  Here are some taken with my REAL camera. 

Monday, January 14, 2013

Rough day(s)

It's a good thing I made a point to drink a lot of water today... With all these tears plus the nursing I might risk dehydrating.

Some days are so hard. Too short naps, fussiness, problems with the older kids, squabbling, not enough sleep, hormones, trying to get something (anything!) done, days upon days of temperatures well below freezing, a dog who keeps peeing in the house... I could go on. It is hard to feel like getting up and doing the same things again. And again. And again.

Breastfeeding has gone really well after the first few days, and I'm grateful for that. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to looking longingly at the relative "freedom" afforded some of the bottle feeding twin moms I know. To disappear for a few hours sounds exquisite. Max does great with bottles but Mali won't have it. I'm sure if we really forced the issue, she would eventually HAVE to give in, but that's just not how I like to parent infants. And overall they are really pleasant little people. So I love them dearly. I just don't always love taking care of them 24/7.

Thank heavens they are so cute. Here's a picture from their blessing.