Baby #3 is due one month from today. I have to say, in the midst of my excitement and anticipation, I'm a bit panicky and apprehensive. I feel like I've gotten the hang of being a two-kid family, and I've heard from many people that the adjustment to three kids is a big one because now the parents are outnumbered. Also, after having experienced two babies, I know that the newborn-infant stage is really demanding and really draining for me. After Spud was born, I had about four months of post-partum depression, and I can't help but feel a bit nervous about that possibility again. I like to think that I'm in a better environment and have more resources and supportive people now, but it was such a dark time in my life that I feel a bit anxious. That was one reason I really didn't want to have another winter baby, but sometimes things don't go exactly as planned. I'm really grateful that we are pretty set (since we've had one of each gender) as far as clothes and such go, and since we cloth diaper we won't have that expense, nor the expense of formula since we breastfeed, but boy it would be nice to be in a better financial situation.
Since I've been so busy this pregnancy (working, photography stuff, homeschooling...) I don't feel like I've had a lot of time to absorb the reality or focus on welcoming this new baby to our home. Of course I was busy during my pregnancies with the other two (finishing grad school right up until the end with Spud), but I've just felt especially distracted and stretched thin these past several months. And that makes me more nervous about the possibility of the PPD--I don't feel like I'm emotionally prepared. Of course, I'm guessing part of the "lack of focus" just comes with the territory of having multiple children. You have so much going on that you just have to keep doing what needs to be done.
So, yeah. How's that for a fair amount of angst? In spite of all my concerns, I am very excited to meet this little person. I hope that when s/he arrives, we'll be able to quickly settle on a name! Nothing has really settled or seemed quite right just yet, which is also different from the other two. A few of the names that I rather like have gotten rather popular, and I try to avoid anything in the top 100. I think maybe I need to ask David for a blessing and also just spend some time visualizing my "new" life as a mother of three. It might be enough to help me feel a bit more stable and prepared emotionally.