Tuesday, July 14, 2009

as good as it gets

I should be finishing my work for today, but I need a break.

So I alluded a long time ago to "lots of thinking" that I'd been doing. I won't go into the long, rambling details (I tried once and the blog post never made it past the initial brain-dumping stage), but I will say that the biggest thing I've learned through this trial of no-job/little income over the past year is that we absolutely have to enjoy the present as much as we can, because it might just be as good as it gets. I know some friends of mine follow Nie Nie , who was in a serious plane crash and has a prolonged, painful recovery. (And when I clicked on her blog, she has as part of her description "as good as it gets," how's that for coincidence?) I don't follow her blog at all, but I did peruse it once and was impressed at her positive attitude and determination. Shortly after Leif was born, I noticed some symptoms that had the potential of being very serious. Likely in part because I was pretty hormonal, but also because there was nothing I could do to rule out serious illness, I panicked for about a week or so. What it it WAS serious and I was going to die? The thought that was most devastating was that of leaving behind these three kids and David. I no longer cared so much about our financial situation or anything else. And I realized that the reason the present is so important is that it is truly all we have. All the months I spent largely in a state of worry had been wasted. The thing I feared most, losing our home, hadn't happened. But was I happy? Did I see the blessing of having lasted this long? No. I was then able to stare the "worst possible scenario" in the face and see myself being okay on the other side if it did come to pass, whereas before I'd broken down with worry every time the thoughts lingered in my mind for any length of time.

So, there are still moments of panic and worry, but I've gotten much better at giving that burden to the Lord and only carrying that which I can handle. So life is good. Probably as good as it gets, even.

8 comments:

Marc and Katie said...

so true

R and R said...

I love you, Mindy. So much to cherish, so little time.

Native Minnow said...

That's the right attitude to have. Sometimes it's hard to see life that way though. I don't know why we tend to get caught up in the minutiae. I wish I didn't.

Kent White said...

"And thus the youngish heroine found herself letting go of the painful expectations that life would ever get any easier for her. She realized that she rather wanted to make life easier for others."

When you think of your life in third person it becomes a "choose your own adventure"! Here's to to goodish life!

Tune said...

Mindy I love you so much. Stay brave and courageous.

Love/Tune

Mary said...

Where WERE you when I was teaching RS two weeks ago? Actually, I know where you were, but I wish you could have added to our discussion about casting burdens on the Lord.

I've faced this same type of financial trial with Kent, and even though we're still pretty much in the middle of it, I've learned how to handle it and it doesn't threaten me or my marriage any more. Maybe now that you and I have learned our lesson, our husbands can be wildly successful in business!

Thanks for your thoughts. It's always a good reminder to be grateful and satisfied.

mindy said...

Thanks, all.

Mary, when I read the write-up of that lesson, I really WISHED I could have been there. I try to be glad and grateful when I do get to go to R.S., but I must say I wish I could be there more frequently. Alas, such is life. And I'm all in favor of the wildly successful in business thing. Let's run that one past the Man Upstairs.

Debra said...

I've had a post partially written for about 6 months where I've tried to express thoughts similar in nature to yours. Your post and this week's BYU devotional about faith/fear have helped me think about things a little differently. Maybe I can finish that post one day.

I'm with you and Mary about the business taking off. I need some rich friends to take me on exotic vacations.