my head is spinning

For the past 36 hours (ever since the ultrasound), my mind has been racing.  I think I've probably cried almost a dozen times.  I'm excited and terrified.  I feel deep down a peace, but it is hard to feel as everything swirls through my brain. 

Last night I was reading a discussion thread in a twins forum about "What items have you found most helpful in caring for twins?"  As I read through people mentioning special nursing pillows, double strollers, having two swings, two bouncers, et cetera, I realized that when I was just having one baby, I felt like an expert.  Been there, done that, whether it was a boy or a girl.  I'm a bit of a minimalist when it comes to baby gear, preferring breastfeeding to bottles, babywearing to strollers, holding in arms to bouncers or swings.  That all works pretty well when you only have one baby.  Now that there will be two, I feel like a first time mom all over again.

 I saw a thread on one of the twins forum  about "How do you get your twins in and out of the car?"  What?  That's a question worth discussing?!  And of course as I thought about it, it does require some planning.  You can do the two "bucket seat" thing so you can set one down while you get the other one in, and that seems to be very popular.  Which makes me think, I've never used an infant carrier seat because I didn't like the idea of the baby spending so much time in a "bucket".  But is it even remotely practical to try and figure out a workaround?  Thankfully I have older kids who can hold and carry babies, but not for extended periods (I'd be too nervous having Noodle carry an infant all around the grocery store, for example.)  If not, then I have to buy TWO infant bucket seats?!  Yikes!  And what about a stroller?  Between our umbrella stroller and our baby jogger we've done fine for the past three kids, but now it's a whole new ball game.  It just seems crazy to be buying new baby gear for the last ones. 

So, I'm probably going to be blogging a lot more.  I don't pretend this will be of much interest to anyone (though maybe other twin mamas), but it'll be a nice way for me to journal and maybe stop my brain from spinning endlessly in circles. 

I think I could rewrite the lyrics to the above song and make it relevant to my current state of mind with the twins.  :o)