I've been a rotten mother lately. So I have been working really hard about not yelling at the kids, but Noodle has been going through a very yelly and sassy stage and while I've done a good job not yelling back, my feelings have not been as loving and calm as I would like them to be. Plus, I've just felt a lot of frustration lately when things go wrong and have had a hard time letting go of small irritations. I decided I'd start fasting again for Fast Sundays this month (I can't fast while I'm pregnant or nursing because my body doesn't handle it well AT ALL) and I did. And until I got to church and through a good part of Sacrament meeting, I was feeling very hungry. But the last 15 minutes of church, during a testimony meeting at the end of relief society, I got the answer I needed. A sister in the ward who speaks some English shared her testimony with us, and parts of it were hard to decipher because her word choice wasn't always exactly clear, but she talked about God's love for us and how if He could part the Red Sea for His children with Moses, he could help us too when we ask Him with faith. That point really hit me hard. If God can help Moses part the Red Sea, He can certainly help me be a good mother to my children. I had been feeling like things were so impossible and I didn't know what else to do, so this answer seemed almost too simple. But in my life, the major challenge right now is being a good mother to my kids. I believe that God loves all of His children, so my challenge of being a good mom is no less important than Moses' challenge of leading the Israelites away from the Egyptians. I am as entitled to utilizing His power as Moses was, as long as I am being faithful and obedient.
I am feeling much more hopeful about things now. Sometimes I think all we need is to see a glimmer of light/hope to keep us along the right path.
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