Busy busy busy

I can't believe we are two months into our school year, the twins turned TWO, we had a super fun family Staycation and I haven't blogged about any of it! I tried to post from my phone on our homeschool blog, but it kept erring out so that didn't happen, either.

In the past few months, we have definitely turned a corner in our post-twin-arrival life. We can actually DO things, and plan things, and have them go somewhat as expected. The twins go to a sitter who lives down the street from us three mornings a week while we do some of our homeschool, and after the first few times of crying for 5 or so minutes, GubGub was just fine with it. Now they look forward to playing with "Hayla" (Makayla) and Peyton. It has been so nice to have the time to do school uninterrupted, and to not feel like I'm just shuffling them to the side while I try and do things. Noodle is a pretty fantastic babysitter, and can manage for 2-3 hours without a problem, so David and I get to go on DATES again! They go to sleep around 8 o'clock and the vast majority of the time they sleep until at least 6 a.m., often 6:30.  GubGub is the early bird, sometimes waking too early (5-6:00) and not going back to sleep, but overall it's pretty good. Sleeping well is something I will never take for granted again as long as I live. Okay, I probably will take it for granted because that's how humans are, but I certainly have a new appreciation for it after the 15 or so months of lousy to awful sleep I had after they were born.

So now that I am feeling human again, I am trying hard to find some parts of the old me that kind of went into hiding the past couple years. It's hard to feel just sort of broken, and realize you've been feeling that way for a while but there just wasn't time to really look at yourself and assess the damage. I've also come to the somewhat painful realization that some areas in my life that need attention and improvement aren't going to just get better on their own. Some things you don't grow out of, no matter how old you get. You actually have to dig in and do the work yourself. Talk about disappointing! I guess there really aren't a lot of automatic perks that come with aging. Self-improvement requires effort. Boo. (Imagine a somewhat sarcastic winky face here.)

I'm feeling hopeful about life, generally, though. David is totally rockin' the data science world and it is neat to see him excelling at something that suits his interests and talents so well. I'm grateful beyond words to have him doing something that he both enjoys and provides for our needs and many wants. It was a long time coming.

Well, I'm sure I could go on a bit more about various things, but it's past eleven and I'm trying to be responsible and get enough sleep. Most nights, anyway.

a little good, a little bad

I'm 35 weeks today!  I woke up to use the bathroom at 4:04 a.m. and when I laid back down, I was too uncomfortable to sleep.  So, here I am, blogging at 4:33 in the morning after a bowl of chocolatey Special K.

So, after feeling panicky about schooling the kids this year, and knowing that just having one or more of them attend public school wasn't really an option for us at present (mostly because I knew this would just alter the stress into a new form, rather than eliminate it...and the last thing I'm up for is a NEW stress right now), I got an email from a homeschool/charter school affiliate (called Harmony Ed) that Spud attended last year for one day a week.  We called it Friday School, because his happened to be on Friday, and it was basically a day of "elective" classes for homeschool students.  This took place at a charter school in Springville.  He enjoyed it well enough, probably about as much as he can enjoy most things, truthfully (he's a bit of an over-thinker), but there were a few reasons I had decided to not have him do it this year.  One, I didn't want to drive down to Springville every Friday morning and afternoon.  Two, the program coordinators were not terribly good at communicating and it got frustrating at times.  Three, we could get more financial support for our homeschooling curriculum through MyTechHigh, which he is now old enough for.

But shortly after my blog post about feeling stressed about school this year, David and I were talking about how it really might be better for everyone if we enrolled Spud in school.  Public school was seeming like the only option, which I did not really feel good about.  A couple of days later, I get an email from Harmony Ed announcing a new program at a new location here in town!  Instead of just the elective days, they were offering and had openings for students in a 2-day/week Multi Age Program (MAP) that covers language arts, math, history and Science.  Spud (2nd grade this year) will be the middle grade of his MAP, which I think will be a good fit for him, as he's a sharp kid but not necessarily where he could be in some of the basics, and I think it will be motivating to him to have other kids that are older and younger to gauge his own skills against.  At first he wasn't at all excited about this "new" opportunity, but David took him out on some special time and they were able to have some good conversation on what we hope for him to be able to do, both this year and in the future of his education.

Unfortunately, when we went to the Open House on Wednesday, Noodle was feeling a bit left out as she is NOT going to be participating in the program this year (and she didn't last year, either).  We reminded her that she is going to be doing her Musical Theater class, as well as continuing with her girls club activities, AND playing Junior Jazz starting in January with her best friend.  She is at a stage in her education where a fair bit can be accomplished independently, and I don't think she would be as benefited by attending a program like the one Spud is doing.  It can be difficult to have kids doing different things, though, as they always tend to look at what the other is doing as so much nicer.

And Sprout is the first of my kids to be going to preschool.  It makes me laugh, because it seems really silly for a homeschooling family to outsource preschool of all things, but it is 1) just across the street, 2) very reasonably priced, and 3) a good chance for him to get some "friend time" during the craziness of what will be my life this next year.  As the youngest child by 4 years (for now), he sees Spud and Noodle going off to play with friends and has had a hard time not having the same freedoms.  Happily, he has a good little buddy from church nursery that he gets to play with on occasion, though judging from his talk, he'd like to be playing with him all the time! 

(This post seemed a little too text heavy, so I thought I'd liven it up a bit with some pictures we snapped of the kids at Anita's wedding three weeks ago. Did I mention we have another wedding tomorrow?  Good, crazy times.)

P.S.  It wasn't until linking this to facebook and looking again at the title that I realized I had forgotten to mention the bad.  Well, about 5 weeks ago we were delighted to have found a "mother's helper" who we paid to come every day and help out with things that I'm not really up to getting done lately.  The plan was for her to come at least through the fall and help with cleaning, running kids around, and some cooking.  Last week she broke a toe and is on limited mobility for the next 6-8 weeks.  Kind of leaving me in a lurch.  I need to figure out what we are going to do.  In the meantime, I've reached out to some of the local family for help and received some very generous offers of help, which I am so grateful for.  I still think I'll want to find someone to come in during the week for a while, but haven't had the energy to look around.  So, that's the bad.  

paper boats

Quite a few weeks ago, Spud asked me to look online and find the directions on how to make paper boats, as he'd seen on the Curious George cartoon. I did, and we each made one together so he could see how it was done, and by two days later, he had made at least 50, of various shapes and sizes.  We had a stack of pink boats made from some scratch paper just sitting on a shelf for quite a while.

While on a date a few weeks ago, David and I went to BYU and played Bocce on the lawn and then walked along the path south of campus.  They've made a lot of improvements to it over the past couple of years and it is beautiful!  There is a stream (I guess) running along it and it struck me that it would be the perfect place to race the boats that Spud made.  So the following Sunday evening we gathered up enough boats for us to each have two and we raced them.  It was fun to watch and "despair" as our individual boats took on water and became soggy masses of paper (which we responsibly fished out and threw away).   I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure that one of Spud's boats (we labeled them with our first initials) actually made it the farthest, which seems only fair since he was the one who did all the work!

Prior to boat racing, we spent some time admiring the couple of dozen or so ducklings in the pond.  It was fun to remember our duckling adventure of last year as we watched these little cuties swim and cheep around the pond.  

10 years!

In some ways, it's hard to believe it's been ten years, but in other ways, it is hard to remember life before our wonderful daughter joined us. 

We figured entering the DOUBLE DIGITS was something worth celebrating (since she may very well be in them for the rest of her life) so we let her have a party with friends this year.  A definite advantage (from the mom's point of view) of parties at this age is the kids can do most things on their own if you just give them the direction and materials.  We had planned to make these little pom pom guys that Noodle calls "Puffles," and I was quite impressed to see the creative things the girls came up with to make their Puffles unique.  They spent a lot more time and energy at it than I would have anticipated, but everyone seemed to really enjoy  the project.  I'd also bought some polished rocks on a whim from the dollar store and those were quite popular with some of the girls as well. 

They were a great group of girls to have around, and I'm so glad Noodle has such good friends.  Here's to the next 10 years, sweetie!

little high, little low

I seem to have a good week followed by a bad week. And not that events are bad, just my hope and faith and fortitude and all that stuff that is necessary to get me through this time of life. The last two weeks I felt really positive about life and even the uncertainty of our future in so many areas didn't get me down, but this week has been a lot harder. I guess that's just life, but I sure wish I could hold on to the good stuff more permanently.

My friend Julie had linked this Mormon Message on Facebook, and it made me cry like a baby. It was an appropriate reminder for me this week. I wish the things that DON'T matter most mattered even less and didn't cause me such anxiety.



We did go to the park last night because my niece wanted me to take some pictures of her (she is recently returned from a mission and doesn't have any current ones for her sweetie who is out of state all summer). Here's an album: Fun times

And here is one of my favorites:

oh yeah, she's awesome

Here's the proof:

noodle

The original. I still can't believe that she's 8 years old. Here she is helping me out while I practiced shooting "Jump shots" this morning.



Poor thing got double stung by a wasp this afternoon. Once on her eyebrow and once right under her eye. It swelled up a TON. It's still pretty swollen, but it has gone down a bit since the incident, so I don't think it will need anything more than time and maybe some more benadryl in the morning.

to my daughter...

At this time, 8 years ago, I was trying to figure out if it was time to go to the hospital. We eventually decided that it was, and tomorrow morning is the 8 year anniversary of your birth.

Until I became a mother, I never really had given any thought to the fact that it's almost funny that the birthday is all about the child, because the mom is the one who did all the work. Since they obviously won't remember their own birth, the memory of the original birthday is something that only the parents will recall each year. I wonder about my own birth day.

Nothing in life changes you so much as becoming a parent. At least, nothing in my life has. Getting married, while a big change, doesn't demand so much. You are still yourself. Your spouse sees you as an equal, a peer. But to your child, you are, at first, the world. Then as her world grows, you move in to the background. I don't know how much kids "see" their parents. Certainly it varies from family to family, but so much of parenting is what goes on in the background of kids' lives.

I remember feeling so much worry when Noodle was a baby. She had some weeks of colic, and I thought it would last forever. I also thought her never sleeping well would last forever. I chose "This too shall pass," as a mantra of sorts after David reminded me, yet again, that it wouldn't last forever. Nothing does. I'm so grateful that with Noodle we made an effort early on to enjoy the stage she was at, not to wish away her infancy, or babyhood, or toddlerhood, or childhood. The most important baby item we've ever owned are the Maya Wrap baby slings. They are only "holdable" for so long. Even with my big giant boys, I still have been so glad to hold them and carry them as long as possible.

I can't believe it's been eight years. Looking at her first year album (the only one I truly commit to doing), I can remember how I felt being in charge of this little person. Since we were in grad school, we hauled her around with us. Though she was our daughter, we kind of viewed her as the Mascot of Team Gonzo. Not that people haven't and don't regularly do harder things, but we felt like the two of us going to grad school as parents was a grand challenge, an adventure. We were still newlyweds, too, really, having been married not quite 11 months when Noodle arrived.

I love who Noodle has become. Granted, I could do without some of the attitude that seems to be springing up, but I appreciate her kindness and her artistic talent and her willingness to include her younger brother in her fun. She is a hard worker (when she wants to be) and I am grateful to get to spend so much time around her. There is so much I know now that I wish I would've known 8 years ago when I was starting down this parenting road, but I guess that's the flip side of being the first child. You might have some time of undivided parental attention, but you are also the guinea pig.

Ah, Baby Z (as we called you in utero). How I love you.


And here she is at one:

And two:

And three:
And four:

And five:

That seems sufficient for now.

childhood

I've been thinking a lot about childhood the past couple of months. I don't recall exactly what prompted me to start thinking about it (maybe these three children running around), but the thoughts have occupied a fair chunk of my free mind time. Not that I claim to be old or wise, but at 31, I feel like I have a fair understanding of what's important in life and am largely the person I'm going to be, though I hope to keep improving and yada yada. I look at my little daughter, who turns 8 in a couple of months, and am amazed at how fast her life has gone by for me. While childhood feels endless to us as children, due to the lack of comparable experience, it is really just a blip in our lifetime. It seems to me that true childhood ends at about 12 or so, and if we live to the age of 72, childhood is 1/6 of our lives. If you accept that by 24 we are "adults," then in contrast, 2/3 of our lives are spent as adults. Years 12-24 are not childhood and not adulthood, so they are a coming-of-age period, so that is the remaining 1/6.

Anyways, enough with the numbers. My point is, childhood is brief, but it shapes so much of who we are, and our expectations for how the rest of our lives should go. Along this line, I've been looking at what we require of children. We require them to spend a very large amount of time in school, often learning stuff that they won't remember the following month, let alone carry with them into adulthood. Not to say that we shouldn't teach kids anything but progressive skills, where they constantly have to build on what they've learned, but maybe it isn't so important that they spend so much time learning things that they aren't interested in and won't remember. And I don't think we do anyone a service when we force material on kids/youth before they are ready. An example of this in my own life is being required to read Great Expectations my freshman year in high school. All I remembered from that book was creepy Miss Havisham and weird images of her wedding cake and all the cobwebs and whatnot. About a year and a half ago we read it for a discussion group I was a part of, and I was AMAZED at what a fantastic piece of literature it is. So much depth and insight into the human condition. Great characters, vivid imagery and all that good stuff. I fell in love with a book that had given me, 14 years earlier, nothing but an odd, lingering image. Reading the book at age 14 could possibly be considered worse than a waste of time, because a waste of time typically doesn't do harm. But if I'd never picked up Great Expectations again, I'd have forever thought the problem was in the work, rather than in my immaturity at the time I read it.

About a year and a half ago, David and I realized that with Noodle being so much like I was as a child (in love with all things animal, particularly those things with fur), having a dog of her very own would probably be one of the defining experiences of her childhood. (I had a dog of my own, too, but I didn't get him until after 8th grade and it was the kind of dog my dad wanted--a German shepherd--rather than what I wanted--a cocker spaniel or similar dog.) Perhaps this would have been a better thought if we didn't already own two dogs, but nonetheless, we couldn't deny it. We told her she could get her own dog when she turned 8, and she started saving. Every dollar her Pop Pop gave her, all her birthday and Christmas money, any money earned from extra chores went into her empty TANG container. She saved $100! We found a dog of a breed we'd researched and thought would be a good fit, and on Saturday, April 3rd, we went and got him. Orbit is a miniature rat terrier, born December 30, 2009. He is a great pup. While he still has manners to learn, he is very snuggly and playful, and gets along well with the other canines.



It makes me wonder if there will be a similar defining experience we can give to Spud and Sprout. I hope so. I hope we'll have the wisdom to recognize it.

I wish I could better encapsulate my thoughts on this topic. I don't feel like I'm doing an adequate job capturing the poignancy I feel about it, but oh well.

thinking out loud

Kind of. I guess we need a blog-appropriate phrase for that. "Thinking at keyboard." Maybe that works.

A couple weeks ago was General Conference (wow, I guess it was only about 1 1/2 weeks ago, but it feels like much longer). It was my first attempt to actually involve the kids. In the past I was happy if they stayed out of my hair and managed to be relatively self-entertaining. I would tune every radio to conference, so it was playing wherever they were, but I liked to do my own thing and let them do theirs. This year I felt it was important for them to participate more, so I did a few things differently. I found some great Conference Bingo sheets, and also these Apostle Cards which I printed off and laminated. I also printed off some pages from various Conference packets--the most used page was the one where the kids could color the ties of each of the Apostles as they saw them. Pretty fun. Anyways, though it took more effort on my part both before and during the conference, I really felt like the effort was worth it to have the kids participate in Conference. As a child, I was allowed to bring toys in to the family room to play with quietly on the floor while the family watched, and I remember those times. I've always felt like Conference is a very important time, and I think it is because there was always the expectation to watch/listen to all the sessions. I want my kids to grow up with that, too. They did really enjoy the bingo sheets, and they earned treats for getting BINGO on both their Saturday and Sunday boards. So it's definitely something we'll do again.

We watched the Sunday session with David's family down in Springville. Since we don't have a TV subscription, we ended up watching Saturday's sessions in the office on my computer. Not nearly as comfortable as in our family/TV room, but at least the screen was a decent size. (I love my big monitor!) Between sessions the TV was on and there were commercials for various toys. Noodle said, "It's a good thing we don't have TV, otherwise we'd just want all these toys that they show on commercials." I thought that was rather an astute observation, and think it is very true. We do watch movies and a handful of cartoons, but we are spared from commercials. It's pretty great, really. It's hard enough for kids to be grateful and satisfied when they aren't constantly bombarded with commercials for the latest cool toy or trendy idea. My mom likes to say, "The play should be in the child, not the toy." I firmly believe this. I don't think this means only wooden or simple toys are appropriate (you should see the creative things Spud comes up with for his Transformers!), but rather that a toy should invite the child to use their imagination and not only have scripted play. One thing that Noodle does that I love is to "accessorize" all her toys. Shemakes houses for them, food out of Sculpey clay, beds, blankets, vehicles, musical instruments, etc. Plus she will write letters to/from the toy, illustrate scenes from their lives, construct a family tree, and on and on. Last week was our week off school and I sewed Noodle & Spud each a cute little plush mouse. It's pretty neat to watch how much fun they can have with one toy. Spud likes to build aircraft for his mouse from the Magformers.

piano boy

Sprout absolutely loves to play the piano. He lights up every time he gets a chance to play.

why you can't have just one

the kidlets

Seriously, they crack me up sometimes.

love this picture

From when Anita took Noodle to the Princess Festival.

Noodle's Birthday Party

See the pictures here. Sufficeth to say, it was a blast. Have I told you that I'm an awesome party planner? I guess now it's time to start gearing up for Ichthoberfest 2009.

being a mom...

means that sometimes the oddest things will make you emotional. I was cleaning off the table and I came across Noodle's drawings for the day (click to view them on her blog). For some reason, the fact that all three depict such happy scenes just got to me. I especially love the laundry one, and I'm glad that she is familiar with clotheslines as I imagine there are many kids in the world who aren't! It made me so happy to see these pictures and know that she is having a happy childhood. What a wonderful little girl.

kids

noodle & sprout

David's sister Tina came up for a visit this week. She was hanging out with the kids for a while and got these pictures. I love the ones of Noodle & Sprout--you can see what a loving big sister she is.

a benefit of homeschool

It's okay to bring your pet to class.

at the zoo

The last Wednesdays of the month, November through February, are free at Hogle Zoo. Normally the end of November would not be ideal for a zoo visit, but we've had such nice weather that last Wednesday actually was pretty nice. Chilly but not terrible. We were all okay with jackets on and occasionally warming up inside buildings. I'd originally tried to see if any of my in-laws wanted to come with us, but they had plans already. I then thought about calling a friend with kids to join us, but in the end decided the kids and I could use some relaxing, "quality time" together without the distraction of other people. I'm really glad we went alone. It was nice to just go where they chose and not feel constrained by what other kids wanted to see. We meandered through the zoo happily for about three hours and the kids did great. A new addition since our last visit was the Conservation Carousel. It was $2/kid, but since we hadn't paid admission, I figured we could splurge. (I even got to ride free because I was accompanying a kid!) Seriously the most BEAUTIFUL carousel I've ever seen. What a fabulous addition. They were playing Christmas music and it seemed that all we needed was a light snow falling to make it movie-worthy. I had a wonderful time with my two little kids.

(There are many more pictures of Noodle than Spud because she was in a more cooperative mood. The weird blue picture turned out oddly anyways, so I thought adding a blue cast to it was appropriate.)