Friday, October 18, 2013
One of the biggest challenges over the past year had been loneliness. I have mostly relied on facebook to give me some daily adult interaction, but that definitely has drawbacks. I have some awesome friends, but only have time to get together about once a month. After David comes home in the evening, it is busy busy busy until the twins are both in bed, and within an hour we need to turn in to ha e a chance of being functional the next day. With the morning and afternoon naps, it's hard to plan times to get out to see anyone, and with homeschooling, it's not like we can have people over really. So all the factors combine to leave me feeling really alone and isolated. I am not one to call people on the phone just to chat much (I always worry about interrupting their lives),and even if I did, my life now is not conducive to phone calls. I wish I had a friend who I could see regularly, even if just for 20 minutes a few times a week, who was "up" enough on my life (and vice versa) that it could be an ongoing conversation. I wish I had the time and energy to cultivate such a relationship. I wish I didn't feel like I was running in circles all day long trying to meet all the needs and demands of my family. I wish that for a period longer than 6-8 months we'd have a predictable, reliable income so I could actually feel somewhat stable and secure. I wish that I was a naturally more organized person, so maybe I would know how to tame the chaos a little more.